"A marriage that has had an affair does not have to divorce."

xinli01

if your partner has an affair, will you choose to forgive or divorce decisively?

some time ago, this topic was

caused controversy among netizens:

"my three values are split. Can't I get divorced because of this kind of mental and physical betrayal?"

"my spouse can't get divorced even after having an affair. I almost thought I was wrong."

"if cheating doesn't count, what's the evidence to prove that a couple's relationship is broken? The doubts of unmarried people. "

Uncle found that most of the netizens who felt aggrieved about "having an affair and not getting divorced" were unmarried students and young people who had just left the society.

only those who really enter the marriage will understand the entanglement and pain in their hearts.

the other half is having an affair,

should we get divorced or not?

faced with the problem of infidelity, many people have the same problem, but the experiences of different people are very different.

some couples are in a long distance, and a person who cares about her appears around the wife. When the husband finds out, he wants a divorce, but the wife tries every means to get it back.

some couples exist in name only and have little affection for each other, even if they know that their partner is having an affair for the sake of their children.

some people pursue novelty and raise lovers outsourced. after knowing this, the wife falls into self-doubt, suffers from depression, and spends every day in pain.

some people have always been in love with their partner, from school uniform to wedding dress, but after the wife got pregnant, the husband often stayed up at night, cheated again and again, and asked for forgiveness again and again.

in the face of their partner's betrayal, they are angry, suspicious and miserable; in the face of divorce concerns, they are worried, wavering and entangled.

divorce, but what about the children? what will their friends and relatives think?

do not leave, but there seems to be a thorn in the heart, faint pain from time to time, trying to forgive each other, but can not let go of suspicion and resentment.

Uncle wants to say that in the face of an affair with a partner, many people always want to find a choice of both sides, but it seems that no matter how they choose, they have to pay a price, which is difficult, painful and contradictory.

but in fact, everyone knows the answer to this question, but they just don't want to face it.

not whether or not to leave,

only whether you want to leave

in the face of a partner's affair, the answer is actually very simple. There is no "whether or not to leave", only "whether or not you want to leave".

Uncle wants to tell a story about a friend around him.

A friend and her husband had been married for many years, and their married life was stable until she found that her husband had another woman outside.

when she saw the ambiguous message on her husband's mobile phone, she trembled with anger, collapsed and despaired, as if the sky had collapsed for a moment.

she had only one thought on her mind: divorce immediately and fight for custody of her children.

but when she calmed down, she hesitated again.

she thought that she would have to take care of her own children after the divorce. Without her mother-in-law's school district house, she could not give her children such good educational conditions at all.

she had a showdown with her husband. Fortunately, her husband has the heart to return to the family and is willing to assume the responsibility of the family. As for the third party, he will find a way to sever contact.

later, the relationship between the two went through a period of running-in before slowly getting back on track.

she is grateful for her original choice. Although letting go does not mean forgiveness, she does not want to torture herself any more.

Uncle wants to say, in the face of an affair with your partner, whether you want a divorce or not, to put it bluntly, it depends on whether there is anything else you want in this marriage.

if you want your partner's love, if Ta still loves you, you can try to give Ta another chance; if Ta is already abstinent and disgusted with you, then forced feelings are meaningless.

if you want the integrity of your family, if Ta is willing to return to the family, you can not get divorced; if Ta remains unmoved, it is futile to hold on.

if you want to give your children a good environment to grow up, if Ta is willing to work hard for their children, you don't have to get divorced; if Ta is still unrepentant and doesn't care about your children, then you don't have to hesitate.

believes that thinking about whether or not to divorce is a process of weighing the pros and cons.

but this is not a calculation, but you need to ask yourself rationally whether you should continue or not. You can't make a decision that you regret for the rest of your life because you are sad and get carried away by emotion.

economist Xue Zhaofeng said in the wonderful work:

"Marriage means that two people run an enterprise, sign a contract, run a family business, and sign a lifetime wholesale futures contract.

everyone should provide corresponding resources and values, physical values, beauty values, emotional values, financial ability, family relationships, and future potential. "

this marriage doesn't give you the value you want, so let it go.

continue this marriage in order to get what you want, then you might as well fulfill yourself and give each other a chance to make amends.

divorce,

you have to pay for your choice

divorce or not, follow the inner choice, everyone has the right to choose, of course, but also have the ability to bear the consequences.

if you get divorced, you must be strong enough to deal with the prejudices of the people around you.

if you don't get divorced, you have to accept the fact that your partner is having an affair and try to repair the broken marriage.

We are your one-stop shop for super deals on long black and white prom dress. There are perfect pieces for formal and informal events.

however, it is said that a broken mirror is hard to round.How can a broken marriage be repaired?

Uncle wants to say that this requires the joint efforts of husband and wife.

cheaters should realize that their actions have caused harm to each other, take responsibility, take care of and understand each other's emotions, and take the initiative to prove their loyalty.

some people have the determination to repent after having an affair, take the initiative to help their wives share the housework, accompany the children to play, and make video calls to their wives whether they work overtime or go on business trips.

also recorded unlocked fingerprints for his wife in his mobile phone, telling his wife that she could look through her mobile phone at any time.

rebuilding trust with sincerity and giving sense of security to your partner with actions and facts can help the other person regain their confidence in marriage.

those who have been cheated should look at each other's changes attentively, try to communicate more and accept more, and can't keep turning over the old debts, otherwise the matter will never be turned over.

in this process, there may be doubt, sensitivity, unease, accept their own negative emotions, let the other person see your pain, accompany you out of the shadow.

Please remember that maintaining marriage is not the ultimate goal, happiness is.

"if the other half is having an affair, should we get divorced or not?"

there is no standard answer to this question, either divorce or not.

said this, not to defend the cheater, nor to ask everyone to make grievances and seek perfection in the marriage.

but the reality is often not black and white. Divorce or no divorce is a personal choice. No one is nobler than the other, and no one is humble than the other.

to leave decisively, but it may also be a kind of courage to choose to stay and live this marriage after consideration.

, uncle hopes that everyone in marriage has the perseverance to defend each other and the courage to leave.