"if you look at your moments, you will know that you are unloved."

A reader once asked me:

"what do you think happens if women don't get married?"

in fact, when it comes to not getting married, the first thing that comes to mind is my friend Doudou.

Doudou always feels that marriage is the grave of love because his parents are divorced. Once two people get married, they will part ways because of all kinds of trivial things.

so in order to avoid following the old path of her parents, she adhered to the doctrine of non-marriage for a long time.

Doudou said that she had fallen in love several times, but all ended in failure, and then she stopped talking. Anyway, life is not just about love and marriage.

during the years when Doudou was single, Doudou moved to different cities and learned many skills, such as pastry baking, flower arrangement, ceramic art, etc., and grew up, opened a dessert shop, and held many offline illustration classes.

with the support of economic strength, her whole person is more confident and free and easy. just when she thinks she can make herself better even if she doesn't get married all her life, she accidentally meets the right person.

adhering to the doctrine of non-marriage, soon after falling in love, she unexpectedly entered the hall of marriage.

after that, Doudou said that she realized that the so-called doctrine of non-marriage was actually because she did not meet the person who wanted to marry.

in fact, I think many people in real life, like Doudou, sometimes just verbally say not to marry, not staunch unmarried activists.

most people even worry about not getting married while they are afraid of getting married.

remember that there is a saying:

"emotional things are always impossible to ask for. Deliberate pursuit will only be counterproductive. It is better to let nature take its course. What belongs to you is yours after all."

Yes, it should be ours, and it won't get away after all. That being the case, why should we worry about whether or not to get married?

if you are free and easy enough to keep an open mind, there is nothing wrong with not marrying.

I am afraid that some people, in fear of marriage and anxiety, will gradually lose themselves, blindly and obediently, and end up for the rest of their lives.

in fact, compared with anxiety, I think that whether or not to get married is a small matter, and whether or not to grow up is a big thing in life.

you should know that in our life, whether we get married or not, we will inevitably encounter all kinds of ups and downs in our lives.

even if everyone around us says that marriage has many costs, there is no need for us to be afraid and anxious about it and boast of being unmarried.

look at 50-year-old Yu Feihong, who is still unmarried and has never said that she is unmarried. On the contrary, she is not opposed to marriage, but she chooses whatever state makes her comfortable.

for her, choosing to marry or not is a way of life, and everyone has the right to choose freely.

Li Bingbing, who holds the same mentality as Yu Feihong, once said to the media: "not getting married now does not mean not marrying. As long as you meet the right person, you may get married."

are also older and unmarried, but they all live the way we yearn for, not only not because of age anxiety, but also because of marital problems. Why?

is it because they are stars and earn more, so they lead a more natural life than us?

so whether you can make your life better and better has nothing to do with marriage, but with how much you grow.

some people, whether they are married or not, can lead a good life, while others, whether they are married or not, are just as bad.

the difference is that the former is independent and autonomous, confident and cheerful, while the latter is most of us who hate the status quo while inseparable from it.

maybe some people will retort that if you make yourself better, will you be able to live a good life?

I want to say, of course.

as you become better, your circle will upgrade. You will enter a better circle, meet better people, and your life will naturally become better.

Life is a process of upgrading, and only by constantly upgrading can we reach the pinnacle of life step by step.

of course you can choose to stand still, sink and get lost, but no one will pay for your life but yourself.

when we are young, we can fall in love to death because of love, but as you get older, you will eventually find that love and marriage are not all of life.

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kindness, hard work, reading, fitness and making yourself better are the most important things in life.

I think marriage is, no matter how old you are, having it is the icing on the cake. If not, you might as well let nature take its course.

it's never your marriage that controls your life, it's about you.