Never expect others to understand you.

duhaos Hu Have you ever had a moment when you wanted to be understood, but no matter how you expressed it, the other person still couldn't understand your feelings. At that moment, you suddenly realize that there are too many emotions in your heart that only you can understand. The writer Su Gengsheng once said: "what a man wants to express is never what he says, but his desire to be understood." The older you get, the more you understand that there is no empathy in this world. Even if you have similar experiences, you will have different feelings. So never expect others to understand you. Human joys and sorrows are not the same. I once watched a particularly heart-wrenching video on Douyin. The day before, the blogger went to attend the funeral of her college classmate. when she came back, she sent a video saying that she had sung with her deceased classmate not long ago and sang Liu Ruoying's classic song "later". At the funeral, the moment the classmate was cremated, the classmate's mother pounced on the body and burst into tears. Although many people around her were moved by it, as the funeral drew to a close, it was quickly replaced by another emotion. Before getting out of the underground parking lot of the funeral home, a hot chat began among the Wechat students. Everyone talked lively about where the food was delicious, where they were going to have dinner, and kept making fun of each other, as if the funeral had nothing to do with them. This makes bloggers suddenly feel very sad, in their eyes, the dead classmate, does not seem to be as important as a meal. On one side is the mother of the deceased classmate, crying bitterly, and on the other is the former classmate and friends, lively group chat. In any case, it looks like the sad plot of "your pain has nothing to do with me". When bloggers lament that life is short, they are more likely to lament that people are cool. In the eyes of others, your joys and sorrows are trifles, like dust that can be dispersed by a gust of wind, so light, so insignificant. I remember Lu Xun described such a scene in his book: "A man downstairs was sick to death, and the family next door was singing the gramophone, opposite to playing with the children. There were two people laughing and playing cards upstairs. There was a woman crying over her dead mother on the boat in the river. The joys and sorrows of human beings are not the same. I just think they quarrel. " All kinds of beings in the world, look carefully, look at a mirror, reflect their own life Scribble, see is a lively, lively others, lively themselves. To you, a big event in which the sky is about to fall is just a small thing like snowflakes in the sky to others. For you, a good thing that makes you happy may be a stinging regret for others. Your sadness, your sadness, in others, is sometimes just hypocritical. Your happiness, your joy, in others, may be showing off. Whether happy or sad, how much can you say to others? Bitter but do not speak, happy but do not speak, may be the best state. Empathy is extravagant hope, cold and warm self-knowledge is normal. I read a paragraph: "some people live in tall buildings, some are in deep ditches, some are shining, and some are covered in rust." In this world, empathy is an extravagant hope, cold and warm self-knowledge is the normal state of life. Even if someone gives you comfort, you can clearly feel that you are the only one who feels the hardship and tiredness of those comforts. Author Lin Juexia once told a story in his article. Her friend Xiao Zhang was dismissed by the company in disguise last year for some reasons. This dismissal came as a complete surprise to Xiao Zhang. after all, he has been working for many years and can be regarded as the veteran of the company. This makes Xiao Zhang's heart very depressed. When he packed his things and was ready to leave, he wanted to talk to his colleagues who were close to him. But as soon as he opened his mouth, the colleague said to him, "dude, I'm a little busy at the moment. Why don't we have dinner some other time?" When Xiao Zhang heard this, he understood what his colleague meant. On the tip of his tongue, he held back like this. This is not the worst part. The worst thing is that when he gets home, he wants to talk to his wife about his inner distress, but he only gets his wife's complaints about losing his job and complaining about all the expenses in the family. Xiao Zhang, who had nowhere to tell, could only sneak into the bathroom and smoke a cigarette to ease the distress in his heart. Think of a true and heartbreaking remark: "No one in this world can really empathize with another person's pain. You have ten thousand arrows through your heart, you are in agony, and it is only your own business. Others may sympathize or moan, but you will never know how bad your wound will fester." When young, always stubbornly speak bluntly: what's on your mind, you must tell it to people who understand it. But the more you grow up, the more you find that there are so few people who really understand you. If you have something on your mind and go through the address book, it's hard to find a person who really understands you. Even if they find it, they may not have the time and patience to listen to your complaints. You will eventually understand that everyone in this world is a lonely existence. Living in us is like drinking water and knowing whether it is warm or cold. Never expect others to understand you. When I was browsing moments a few days ago, I suddenly remembered that I hadn't seen the news of Xiao Yaoyao for a long time. When I clicked on her profile picture, I found that Yao Yao's circle of friends stayed in October last year and has not been updated since then. "No one in the world can really understand you but yourself." Looking at her last circle of friends, I think of an experience she talked about at that time. As she has been married for many years and has not been able to get pregnant, her mother-in-law is very anxious. At the beginning of last year, her mother-in-law gave her an order that she must have a child or face divorce. But half a year later, she went to many hospitals and took a lot of traditional Chinese medicine to recuperate, but there was still no sign of pregnancy. The couple planned to have a test-tube baby, but just pre-operation preparation made Yao Yao feel collapse. she told her husband many times that she was too suffering and wanted to give up. But the husband also wants to have a child, so that the two old people feel at ease and let Yao Yao endure it every time. What makes her feel even more desolate is that she specially chose National Day short holiday to do the operation, but that day she just got off the operating table when she was informed by the unit leader that she wanted to work overtime temporarily. She's electrifying.In the words, he asked for leave with the leader, saying that he had just had an operation and was still observing in the hospital. The leader not only did not grant leave, but also asked her to go back to work immediately, counting absenteeism in less than half an hour. Yao Yao said that at that time, she suddenly felt that no one around her understood her. The leader has the interests and tradeoffs of the leader, the mother-in-law has the calculation and measurement of the mother-in-law, no one understands her grievances, and no one cares whether her body can stand the troubles. Looking at that circle of friends, I couldn't help sending Wechat to Yaoyao. Only then did I realize that she failed in a test tube, went through divorce formalities at the end of last year, changed a new job at the beginning of this year, and now she is having a good time. I agree with a passage: "if the needle is not stabbed into others, they will never know how painful it is." If you think about it carefully, it makes sense. Things didn't happen to you, so you can always stay out of it and be a bystander. Only when things happen to their own, will understand that they will also hurt. In the adult world, no one can really understand each other. Everyone has their own bitterness and bitterness, understanding that this is a scarce product, expect others to understand themselves, the last disappointment must be their own. Therefore, it should be that sentence: "it is difficult for others to understand, joys and sorrows." When you are alive, only you can really understand yourself. Life is not long, learn to keep warm alone I like a passage very much: "people always swallow some grievances, then dry their tears without mentioning a word and move on." Yeah! There are many grievances in life, which can only be digested by ourselves in the end. There were not so many hugs in the cold wind, so we had to put our hands in our pockets. There are not so many umbrellas to squeeze on rainy days, so we can only be caught in the rain alone. However, we always have to believe: Sometimes the cold wind stops. It clears up in rainy days. There will be times when we grow up and become stronger on our own. Life is not long, may we learn to keep warm alone for the rest of our lives.

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