The best way to test marriage: Chinese New year

Wen Qian

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some people say that the Spring Festival is the "demon mirror" of marriage.

Happy people, in the relative day and night, strong feelings, hot marriage.

unfortunate people, however, in the chicken and dog jump, from holding hands to letting go, from lovers to strangers.

as Lin Qingxuan said, "when one is unable to have a good New year, the New year is often more lonely and sad than usual."

Spring Festival is not only a gathering place for people's emotions, but also a barometer and thermometer for marriage.

and whether a marriage is good or not will be decided during the Spring Festival.

whose house to return for the Spring Festival shows the state of marriage

when I was young, the Spring Festival was just the distance between a table of New year's Eve dinner.

after marriage, I found that New year's Eve dinner is easy to get, but the difficulty is that I can't help it.

once a year, New Year's Eve, where to eat New year's Eve dinner and who to spend the New year with, has become the focus of conflicts between many couples.

in the variety show "emotional referee", Ms. Li, 28, married far away in spite of her parents' opposition.

in daily life, the couple are happy and peaceful, but at the end of the New year, they always quarrel about whose house they are going to for the Spring Festival.

"in the first year of marriage, you must spend the New year in your mother-in-law's house."

"you are pregnant with a child and are not suitable for long-distance bumps."

"the child is too young to travel far away."

"I am an only child, and the old couple spend the Spring Festival alone."

"my parents are not in good health. I'll go back to your house next year."

"Don't go back to the epidemic this year. You have a brother and sister-in-law in your family."

year after year, every time her husband finds many reasons to let Ms. Li and herself go home for the Spring Festival.

later, Ms. Li had no choice but to cry to her husband:

"after 10 years of marriage, I didn't go back to my mother's house once. Can't you understand how I feel?"

this is really a bit sad, but it also tells us how much the current situation of marriage is.

how many couples have weathered the storm and survived the ups and downs, but finally lost in the marriage "annual examination".

China Youth Daily once conducted a survey and found that more than 30% of couples had a dispute over whose house they went to for the Spring Festival.

the reasons are more or less the same, with some arguing about the "tradition that men must stay at home".

some go their separate ways for the only child who refuses to give up his parents.

but not all quarrels end in discord, and smart couples read each other's true feelings in their quarrels.

as psychologist Li Zixun said:

"something you argue about secretly conveys a message that needs to be understood and recognized."

most of the time, the quarrel over "whose house to celebrate the Spring Festival" is not for a result, but for the other person's attitude.

people who really love you will not let each other regret, but also willing to compromise for each other.

whether the annual ceremony is intentional or not exposes the temperature of marriage

the degree of attention between husband and wife determines the temperature of marriage.

in a happy marriage, husband and wife will not only respect each other, but also be considerate and warm to each other's families because of love.

in the movie New year, Ding Tu and Dachuan, as sons-in-law of the Cheng family, are quite different in preparing New year's goods.

Ding Tu is flirtatious, likes to mess around, and always lies everywhere, saying that he doesn't have children because his wife can't get pregnant.

not only that, in daily life, when he is a little dissatisfied, he punches and kicks his wife, even to his parents-in-law.

what is even more infuriating is that when he returned home for the Spring Festival, Ding Tu hastily wrapped two boxes of biscuits as a New year gift, but turned around to carry a large basket of food from his mother-in-law's house to pay New year's greetings to his lover.

when his mother-in-law found out, she drove him out of the house overnight.

the second son-in-law, Okawa, who loves his wife, looks different.

I am usually reluctant to eat and wear, but at the end of the year, I spent more than half of my income to prepare a rich New year gift for Erping's family.

his mother-in-law is afraid of the cold, so he buys a windproof mink coat; his father-in-law likes to drink small wine, and he gives two bottles of good wine;

Sister-in-law loves beauty, so he chooses fashionable clothes; when the eldest sister is not in good health, he sends wild ginseng to keep healthy.

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when my eldest brother went to graduate school, he handed over a gold pen. When my younger brother was about to get married, he really wrapped a big red envelope.

his parents-in-law blamed him for spending money, but Okawa said:

"I was an orphan when I was a child. Erping gave me a home, and her family is my family."

the words are full of gratitude.

instead of saying "thank you", he incorporated gratitude and love into his daily routine.

because she loves each other, she is willing to respect her wishes; because she loves each other, she also loves her parents.

that's what a happy marriage is, never on the surface, but on the details of life.

respect is the best expression of this nuance.

whether one is willing to respect each other and each other's parents determines one's attitude towards marriage;

as the saying goes, falling in love is an art, getting along is a skill.

integrating respect into daily relationships not only expresses the quality of marriage between husband and wife, but also shows the degree of attention to each other's families.

it can not be expensive, a little simple New year goods, a piece of pasteHeart coat, some daily necessities. It's all the embodiment of the heart.

treat each other attentively and please each other. When husband and wife are willing to treat their families sincerely for the sake of each other, then the marriage life will be happier and longer.

whether a person loves you or not will be known in a year

in the final analysis, the Spring Festival is actually a holiday.

during the holidays, in addition to enjoying the atmosphere, there are countless feelings of tiredness.

after all, every holiday, there are always more trivialities to deal with, more human contacts to take care of.

especially during the Spring Festival, when relatives and friends gather together, it is difficult to cover all aspects of human face, affection and decency, and conflicts are more likely to arise between husband and wife.

in the TV series "the New Age of Marriage", the heroine Gu Xiaoxi was born into a highly educated family in Beijing, and her husband, he Jianguo, came from a poor mountain village.

although the two are very different from each other, the power of love binds them together.

I never thought that once I went home for the Spring Festival, my marriage was put off in the shallows.

he Jianguo has a good face. In order to show off his "manhood" in front of his relatives and friends, he will be a "shopkeeper" when he returns to his hometown.

he smoked, drank tea and chatted with his relatives and friends, and deliberately ordered Gu Xiaoxi to bring tea and water again and again.

he laughed happily at the edge of the Kang, while Gu Xiaoxi drew water from the frozen well and filled the tank step by step.

he shared the happiness of his family with his parents, while Gu Xiaoxi was asked to wash and cook, his hands and face red with cold.

to make matters worse, when Gu Xiaoxi caught a cold and had a fever and was aching and weak all over, he Jianguo pushed her into the kitchen and urged her to wash the dishes and wash the dishes quickly.

at that moment, Gu Xiaoxi couldn't help crying any longer.

he Jianguo, who trampled down his wife and raised himself, not only lost face, but also hurt Li Zi.

there is a saying that although celebrating the holidays does not determine everything, it can make couples see a lot.

indeed, a person who really loves you will not make himself sad because of the holidays, let alone for the sake of the so-called face.

compared with himself, he is willing to let you have a good holiday, and he is willing to respect your feelings and put you first in order to have a good New year.

Marriage is never a battlefield, and husband and wife are not rivals.

only by knowing how to respect can we dote on each other; only by learning to be tolerant can we live every day well.

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there was a hot topic on the Internet: "Why must we do a thorough cleaning for the Spring Festival?"

like a high-praise answer: "bid farewell to the New year and welcome the New year."

throw away the clutter in every nook and cranny, sweep away the dust that has been deposited for a long time, wipe off the mottled dirt, and bid farewell to the past cleanly, so that you can travel light to meet the future.

as a matter of fact, this is the case in life, and so is marriage.

every exciting love, after the collision of pots and pans, affected by oil, salt, soy sauce and vinegar, will always leave traces on the emotional background and save emotions.

instead of magnifying the rift, it is better to give marriage a year.

sweep away emotional rubbish with understanding and respect, clean up the accumulation of the soul with care and understanding, and more importantly, add love ripples to the marriage like the Spring Festival.

maybe it's to accompany her home for the Spring Festival, maybe it's a well-prepared surprise, maybe it's just washing hands and making soup together.

wherever you go, just talk about it; no matter what you do, just make a contribution.

as the Spanish economist Lovela said:

"Love is constantly adding wood to the fire. only in this way can the fire last."

the years have passed, the heart has warmed up, and the marriage has become warmer.

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, may you and I take good care of each other's mood and live up to the raging Spring Festival.

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